Love, and side benefits

“She [Wisdom] will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.”
-Proverbs 4:9

I was married almost ten months ago, and it was a particularly lovely wedding. I know most people say that, and I imagine it’s true whenever someone says it for the right reasons.

Too often we say it because of the flowers and the music and the food at the reception. Frankly, I most often judge weddings by the food at the reception. I never mind seeing friends get married, and often I celebrate that, but good food is so critical to my own enjoyment of the event.

In these ways, my wedding was lovely too. It was in a prayer garden under an oak tree that is well over a hundred years told. The weather was absolutely perfect, and the pastor led us through a number of profound examples for marriage. My wife was beautiful (as she always is, though she will not believe me), and I felt blessed to just be there. It was memorable in every way.

But when I say it was lovely, that’s not what I am talking about. I’m talking about taking the woman I love and being bound to her, for better or for worse. I’m talking about becoming a family, trusting God with our common fate, and standing as an example of His love for us.

I became her husband, and that to me is lovely.

I longed for that day, waited for it, planned for it, sought it, and pursued it. Not for the day itself. Too many, I think, forsake the marriage for the wedding. They ignore everything about their relationships except for the planning of that day. No, that’s not why I sought it. I sought it because I sought her, and that was the natural and right result of that seeking.

So often I hear in the church that people need to follow Christ for everlasting life. That is true. I often present the gospel that way myself. Others will say He gives peace. That is true as well, though it is often peace in the midst of terrible trial. Others will say God gives wealth. That is sometimes true, though not as often as we hope.

I long for those things. I long for life with Him. I long for that peace. I long for Him to tell me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” But I don’t long for them for the day itself. I long for them because I love Him.

The verse previous to this one says that these things will come about because we prize wisdom highly. When I think back on my wedding day, I understand better. It was a wonderful day, but it would have been terrible if either one of us had sought that day for its own sake. It was wonderful because it was about something greater than itself.

The evidence of wisdom, of faith, is wonderful, but it is mostly wonderful because it points to something greater. When someone comes to me for spiritual advice, I am glad, because that person has seen Jesus alive in me. When I am asked to do something at church, I am glad, because I can serve Him with it.

Too many come to the Gospel with some great goal. There are preachers who tell you to follow Jesus for money. Money may come, but that’s a goal much too small. Some will tell you about peace and life. Indeed! But what would life be without Him?

I spent so much of my life seeking my own ends. I spent them in selfishness and lust and greed. He showed me that these goals were fallen and tainted. In repentance and belief I was saved by His Blood, and that Blood continues to save me every day. I am still lost without Him.

At my best, that faith is like a crown on me. But it is a crown I long to cast at His feet in worship. It’s about life. It’s about peace. It’s about forgiveness. It’s about repentance. Yes, it is all of these things. It’s about God most of all. Just like on my wedding day, it’s not about me. It’s about Him.