The beautiful first kiss

“Let them [your springs] be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.”
-Proverbs 5:17

I had some friends several years ago who had never even kissed someone romantically until the day of their wedding. It was in that church that each of them experienced that first kiss.

There’s something special about that. In an age where sexuality is quickly becoming a assumption rather than exception, where sex is more and more common in high schools and even middle schools, where homosexuality no longer is shocking, and where even parents are telling their children to move in with their boyfriends or girlfriends before getting married, there is something profound about viewing sexuality as a treasure or gift rather than a pastime.

It’s not that kissing is wrong. I’m not even saying it is wrong before marriage. There is no Scripture forbidding kissing before marriage, so long as it does not arouse lust.

And it’s not that sex is wrong. Within marriage, sex is not only not forbidden, but it is encouraged. These are wonderful things, gifts from eternal God. No, the issue is WHEN it is right, and WHEN it is wrong.

Solomon is giving us a metaphor between sex and a spring of water. The question he is asking is whether your water is contained properly and clean, or is it running through the dirty streets. Is your sex life good and God-honoring within a marriage, or is it muddied by the world, available to whomever wants it.

This isn’t an idle comparison. There are things in this world that are good, but when misused, they become sinful. Food is a gift from God, but when overused, it becomes an idol of its own. Money is a gift from God, but when misused, can cause all sorts of problems. So too is sex. Sex was designed by God as a joining of two people into one, to be a symbol of the love and devotion that Christ has for His Church.

To misuse the gift is to sin. It is a betrayal against God. And you can blow that off, saying that God is a prude, or that He doesn’t understand. Which is weird, because He’s the one who invented sex in the first place, so we might assume He knows the best ways to go about it.

In truth, when we do things against God’s commands, we do it because we have decided that we know better than Him. That, even though He has given us guidelines on how to behave, we have found something more pleasurable than God. We have chosen something created over the very Creator.

My friends had the right idea. Sex is a treasure and a gift. And I don’t care what reasons you come up with that you need to get laid now, the truth is that there is something truly wonderful and beautiful about two people who have never known anyone else before becoming one on their wedding night. More than that, there is something godly about it.

Even if some of us managed to hold out that long, don’t get too proud about it. Jesus tells us to even look upon another person with lust in our hearts is to commit adultery. The true beauty of a perfect marriage is that even our thoughts are wholly devoted to our spouse.

We don’t meet that standard. We have fallen a hundred times today. Even if you are a virgin, you still fall short in lust or pride. But here’s another really awesome thing about the relationship between Jesus and His Church, that relationship that is supposed to be mirrored in our marriages – we can be forgiven.

We deserve death for our rebellion against God, but Jesus, upon that Cross, took our place in death so that we might live. He paid a bride-price for His Church that cost Him His life. He bought us by His Blood. In repentance and faith we can be forgiven.

We have not been perfect, but we have a Savior who was. Cling to Him, and He will guide your steps.