On sexual sin

“Keep your way far from her [the forbidden woman], and do not go near the door of her house,”
-Proverbs 5:8

Quite often, my wife and I will watch movies or television shows in the evenings. We were both real lovers of movies before marriage, and so, naturally, that part of our single lives have carried over into the marriage.

Not all of these movies are what you might call family friendly, but my wife always insists that we either skip sex scenes or at least turn away.

It’s not something I did when single. I used to be perhaps more tempted with sex than I am now (though I certainly have not conquered the sin of lust), and when God confronted me on this problem, I got rid of a lot of movies that I felt were just over the top with sexual content. But I didn’t get rid of every single movie that had a sex scene in it, and I really didn’t think about it much when watching. It’s just something that is in movies.

I am tremendously thankful to my wife for making me more uncomfortable with those scenes.

In our culture, we often ignore sexual sin, often to the point where we deny it is a sin. Sure, the extreme sexual sins will still be considered sins, but what about premarital sex? What about looking at a woman in lust? What about pornography?

Sex has become an idol to us in this culture. We worship it when we go out to bars to pick up women, when we scheme to try to make someone like us, when we turn on our computers to look at naked women. It has become a god to America, so much so that more than a million babies every year are sacrificed for the cause of sex without consequences.

We sometimes see God as a spoilsport who is trying to ruin our fun by His rules on sex. That’s not really what is going on. God does have rules regarding sex, but it is because there is something else going on with sex than perhaps we know.

When we hate someone, Jesus tells us, it is as though we have committed murder. There is something going on there on a spiritual level that we don’t realize at the time. We are separating ourselves in sin from the greatest good in the universe, which is God. We are choosing our anger over Him. It is like that with sexual sin. There is a spiritual connection made with your partner that was not meant to be shared with any woman at a bar. It was meant for one person, for life. And when we put our lusts before that one person and before God, we have made a spiritual decision to make an idol of our lust instead of worshipping God.

Sex is not a bad thing. God created it not just for procreation, but for enjoyment. But He made it to be used in love with your spouse, to share a spiritual oneness that is supposed to reflect the love that Christ has for His Church.

If I even look at a woman with lust in my heart, then I have put something in the place of that wondrous and God-given relationship and love.

I can’t even remember how many times I messed up in this way. In God’s mercy, He delivered me to a loving wife despite myself. This too is a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church. While we were yet sinners, He died on our behalf, paying the price for all of those sins, including the sexual ones. He purifies us in that Blood and places His righteousness upon us. In repentance and belief in Him, we can be cleansed.

If left to myself, I never could have made up for the sins of my past. But in His love, like the love of a husband to a wife, He has forgiven me.