Proverbs 2:16: Who are you dating now?

“So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words,”
-Proverbs 2:16

Solomon begins here a new section of advice, one that should have a great deal of meaning for us today, since he is talking about sex. (Yeah, I can already see my web traffic tripling over this series.)

So this first verse has a lot to talk about, so let’s dive right in.

In the first part of it, the “forbidden woman” (some translations say “strange woman”) is specifically referring to a foreign woman. So is Solomon telling us to stick to our own kind or something like that? Absolutely not. After all, Solomon’s great-grandmother Ruth was a Gentile.

No, when the Old Testament tells us not to marry foreigners, it is telling us not to marry outside our faith. It is worded that way because, at the time, Israelites typically followed the God of the Bible and other nations followed other false gods. So the Bible will sometimes say, “Stay away from foreign women,” in the context of marrying only within the faith. This is why we can celebrate women like Ruth and Rahab, both Gentiles, who were converted to the God of the Bible.

How does this translate now? It translates to, “Don’t date non-Christians.” We are called to hang out with non-Christians, to speak with them about Jesus, but not to date, court, marry, sleep with them, or anything else of that nature with them.

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
-2 Corinthians 6:14

But I love him! But maybe if I date him I can talk to him about Jesus! If I sleep with him then maybe he’ll come to church with me!

This is a huge problem in the church, and it comes out of two sins: idolatry and unbelief.

Idolatry because you put a boyfriend / girlfriend / fiancée / fiancé / whatever in front of Jesus. God tells us to not get into romantic relationships with non-believers, but you put that non-believer before God by obeying the non-believer instead of God. You sacrifice your time, energy, body, and conscience for that person instead of saving all for God.

If you ever disobey God for another person or thing, you have made that thing or person into an idol.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

It is unbelief when you decide that you need this person if you will be happy. Or when you say that you need to date that person so that he will come to Jesus. You do not believe that God’s grace is sufficient, and that He will provide for you, and that He can bring that other person to Himself without your help.

Why is this important? It’s important because no one can serve two masters. No one can focus on both God and to some husband who rejects God. In a marriage, both members together should be working toward God together. But if a wife is pulling you one way and God another, then you are going to be torn.

Solomon is the best example of this, because he eventually rejected his own advice and married a bunch of pagans. You know what? By the end of his life, he bowed a knee to those false gods because his wives were constantly pulling him in that direction.

Our love for God should be stronger than any attraction we find for someone else. If it’s not, then you have more to worry about than your boyfriend.

Now, what about the people who already married the nonbeliever? In this case, the Bible calls us to stay married (1 Corinthians 7:13). Do not let one mistake lead to another. Stay in the marriage, love as Christ loved, and He will be your guide.

God does not tell us these things to punish us or something, but for our own benefit. You see, Jesus is a greater gift than any man or woman can be. Because of our sin, we are separated from God, but Jesus, in death, took our punishment for us. Through Him we can have eternal life in a place without pain and death. And yet we are often so willing to trade that gift for a temporary one, like a boyfriend, sex, or just someone to pay attention to us. God tells us these things because He knows that His Grace is sufficient for us. We do not have to be like Solomon, who turned away from the blessings of God because his wives were tempting him to something far less wonderful.

If I have described you today, repent and flee to Jesus. He is faithful to forgive our sins, and He will always welcome us.